Lance Manly AL all-stars

With the NL in the books and the all-star game tonight, Lance is back with his AL lineup. Keep in mind when reading this that these are not necessarily the players with the best stats, but the people who best personify manliness, just as the great Lance Manly himself.

AL Lance Manly all-stars:

SP-Roy Halladay, 2.71 ERA, 121 Ks. Not to mention his 146+ innings pitched at the break.

C-Joe Mauer, 5 HRs .873 OPS.

1B-Jason Giambi, 19 HRs, .915 OPS. The mustache seems to be working alright. Interesting fact, from 2005-2007 Giambi’s splits by position according to ESPN.com:

DH- 613 AB .227/.380/.450 1B- 488 AB .293/.453/.611

2B-Ian Kinsler, 14 HRs, .945 OPS. Ian Kinsler has put forth quite the Rico Constantino-like effort this year.

3B-Evan Longoria, 16 HRs, .861OPS. (Insert Evan/Eva Longoria joke here.)

SS-Michael Young, 7 HRs, .777 OPS. We can only hope that Michael Young shares the same infatuation with the number seven as Larry Walker does with the number three.

OF-Josh Hamilton, 21 HRs, .919 OPS. As Joe Sheehan put, “The House That Ruth Built, 85 years old, goes out as The House That Hamilton Knocked Down.”

OF-Grady Sizemore, 23 HRs, .913 OPS. Sizemore has seen a nice jump in a few categories this year such as home runs and stolen base percentage, and he’s just entering his prime.

OF-Manny Ramirez, 18 HRs, .907 OPS. He hits the ball real hard.

DH-Milton Bradley, 19 HRs, 1.050 OPS. With Big Papi injured it’s safe to say Milton Bradley has a “monopoly” at DH this year. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

Wow

Josh Hamilton is a man among boys, and a legend in his own time.

Hats off to Josh on coming back from everything he put himself through, and giving credit where it’s due.

Josh’s first round performance in tonight’s Home Run Derby was more impressive than I can convey to anyone who hasn’t seen it.  I’ve seen a lot of home runs, but that was unreal.  He hit the outside wall of Yankee Stadium – TWICE.  He was basically mobbed by every major league All-Star when his round was over.  I really can’t say enough about it.  It speaks to Josh’s raw talent and work ethic.  He’s a superstar, and tonight, he stopped being “Josh Hamilton, World Class Comeback Story,” and started being “Josh Hamilton, World Class Hitter,” to those who didn’t already know.

Introducing Lance Manly

Call off the search, I’m here and I brought with me Lance Manly. With the all-star festivities starting tonight, we thought it would be a good time to unveil the Lance Manly NL all-stars. Keep in mind when reading this that these are not necessarily the players with the best stats, but the people who best personify manliness, just as the great Lance Manly himself.

NL Lance Manly All-Stars:

SP- Edinson Volquez, 2.29 ERA, 126 Ks.

C-Brian McCann, 18 HRs, .940 OPS.

1B-Lance Berkman, 22 HRs, 1.096 OPS. A tough decision between Pujols and Lance Berkman, but a nickname like “the Big Puma” puts Berkman over the top.

2B-Dan Uggla, 23 HRs, .978 OPS. Another close call but Lance favors Ugly Uggla over Utley.

3B-Chipper Jones, 18 HRs, 1.086 OPS. Russell Branyan didn’t play enough games to qualify, otherwise it would’ve been close.

SS-Hanley Ramirez, 23 HRs, .957 OPS. “El niño” is manly enough for Lance.

OF-Adam Dunn, 26 HRs, .918 OPS. We at Charging the Mound are very confused as to why no one seems to like Dunn right now.

OF-Ryan Ludwick, 21 HRs, .962 OPS. Do we expect to find Ludwick receiving any postseason awards? No, but you have to give credit where credit is due.

OF-Pat Burrell, 21 HRs, .979 OPS.

Check back in tomorrow for the AL Lance Manly’s.